I guess this is a follow up to my last post, about being Right.
For me, happiness is the main aim in life - stressful, highly paid jobs can take a jump as far as I am concerned. I just want enough cash to roll along without worrying too much about finances, but not expecting 3 holidays in the sun every year. Considering that we spend a high proportion of our lives working, I think it is vital that we enjoy our work. I have done work that I hated...
Apart from happiness at work, it is vital to be happy at home. A lot of guys aren't happy at home. You want to know what you are doing wrong? Read on:
Trying to have the social life that you had before marriage and kids. OK, we need to keep in touch with "the guys", but going out 3 nights a week can really dent a marriage. You need to compromise here. If "the guys" don't understand ask youself how successful their relationships have been!
Reckless spending. "It's my money, I earned it!" OK, but did you really have to spend the month's food budget on a wreck of a car that will need another 2k spent on it before it can go on the road? Yeah, it can keep the other 2 company...
Thinking that stuff like cleaning house, cooking in the kitchen (you are, of course, more than happy to cremate food on a barbeque) and doing the laundry is not your responsibility.
Trying to wear the trousers all the time. Face it! Your wife is at home more than you are (especially if you are out with "the guys" 3 nights a week), and is more intelligent and better educated than you. Let her make some decisions!
Expecting your wife to find you sexy when the guy she married is buried under 100 pounds of fat, while you think it is OK to complain if she gains a dress size after having a child.
Having pin-ups in the garage. Believe it or not, this does nothing to convince your wife that you still think that she is the most sexy thing that God ever put breath into. If she is thinking that you would rather be getting sweaty with Miss March, your chances of getting sweaty with HER are greatly reduced! Please tell me that you understand this one, at least!
Finally: Take advice from people who are in successful relationships, and not guys who think that showing your wife a bit of affection and respect is being "hen-pecked" or "under the thumb". The guy who is on his 4th successful marriage is NOT a good role model!
Thank you for listening.
If you did.
Which you probably didn't, but what the hell, it is you that is miserable and not getting any...
13 comments:
Great advice, though I feel a little sorry for the guys. Much as I hate to admit it, we women could work a little bit at compromise too. (Did I actually just type those words???) :-)
Terri - Meeting in the middle is good! A lot of guys don't seem to want to do even that!
great advice. I'm w/ Terri too though. We've got plenty of work to do ourselves. My hubby certainly deserves a wife who is a bit more relaxed and compromising. I can be pretty demanding sometimes.
Whoa...you girls are getting soft and mushy on me...I like thining that it's all the dumb guy's fault!!!! LOL!!!!
RC~I still think you should be a real life "Hitch"...this post proved it. All those things are so simple but seem so hard for some. LOVE the way you ended that post. Ha!
I second that.
Where were YOU when I was married? The Ex still isn't really sure why I divorced him. He thinks it is ALL because of the little squeeze he had on the side. I have tried and tried to tell him it was also all of those "little things" that you posted about that really pushed me over the edge.
One indescretion could have been worked around, but making me play second fiddle AND feel like the maid,daycare worker, cook, butler, taxi driver... while showing me about the same amount of attention he gave the shabby chair in the corner that no one uses anymore.
THAT, dear boys and men, is what really led to the demise of our marriage.
ALL MEN, TAKE HEED TO CRC's ADVICE!
Meeeeyyyowww!
Rock Chef! So bossy, so brilliant, so RIGHT!
You are a damn genius. I think 98% of the men in the world need to read this post.
However, I must agree with a few of the ladies, I could use some work myself. Like in the nagging department...
Miss Got Wings - Being "pretty demanding" is very different to what most guys get up to, though. IMO!
Teresa - Yep, it is all very basic, really. Thought you would appreciate the ending :-)
Wreggie - Good man!
Michele - You would have worked around an affair? He wasn't worthy of you! I never even touched on that as I see it as unforgivable, fetch the scissors time, etc. But you are right, it is all the little stuff that grinds you down in the end, affair or no affair!
Ali - What is this? I lay it on the line and suddenly all you girls are going muchy and saying that you could do better too! But thanks, I will humbly accept the title of "Genius".
Well, I did fail to say that I wouldn't have to BE so naggy if "someone" just followed the points in your post in the first place ;)
I was trying to be nice...
Ali - That's better!
Happy wife = happy life! :-)
Seriously though, these are all really great, valid points!
Think we should make this advice into a greeting card - it is great!
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