Tuesday, 2 November 2010


Well the European Court of Human Rights has made another landmark decision:

People who are in prison should still be allowed to vote.

I find this amazing - given that they tend to be doing time because they have ignored the rights of others not to be robbed, attacked, murdered, raped, etc, being told that they should retain their right to vote sticks in the throat a bit.

Never mind!  The world changes, and I suspect that politics might change a little in the light of this new development!  Political parties might feel the need to court the prison vote, or maybe totally new parties will be formed, especially given the likely shift to Proportional Representation in future elections!  How about having a Porridge Party?

So, here are a few ideas that might capture the Prison Vote in the next election.  Please feel free to add more in the comments...

  1. Flextime.  All prisoners will be allowed to serve their time as and when they want to, probably during the winter but going home for Christmas and weekends.
  2. Specialist prisons, allowing networking with others who have similar specialities.
  3. Visiting speakers.  Anyone who has specialist skills will know that being out of the loop for a year or so can make these skills redundant.  It is essential that the criminal population is allowed to keep track of the latest changes in burglar alarm technology, for example, to reduce the chances of a return to prison.
  4. Prisoner Exchange Programmes.  Broadening horizons by allowing prisoners to serve time overseas in prisons of their choosing.
  5. Alteration of criminal law, compelling courts to accept claims that "It wasn't me Guv, I was at my mum's all day" as gospel truth, unchallengeable by the prosecution.
  6. The eventual abolition of the entire justice system - just think of the money that will save!
That should win a few votes for the Porridge Party, don't you think?

PS I won't even THINK about the idea that British and French armed forces are going to be working together in the future!  Let's see, a British aircraft carrier with French planes on it (a serious suggestion, BTW!).

"Hello, old chap.  We need to bomb a terrorist stronghold."

"Non.  We do not agree that this is legal war and will not take part."



wigsf3 said...

Welcome to Canada.
Bienvenue a Canada.

terri said...

Well, I like to think that I'm not getting old and crabby, but I just feel the need to say, "What is this world coming to?"

Seriously! Prisoners... have rights? I believe they made a conscious decision (or several) to give up those rights.

wReggie said...

Hmmmm. Shame about the spineless french but they do have fantastic technology when it comes to air and underwater.

Rock Chef said...

wigsf3 - Hm, at least we don't have to share a country with the French... I assume that is the part you were referring to!

Terri - My feeling too - it's not getting old and crabby, it is just a ridiculous idea!

Rock Chef said...

wReggie - I am sure they have, but the idea that British and French troops will be a viable joint force is laughable.

agg79 said...

Don't forget about job retraining. They'll need to work on a second career when their jobs get outsourced (cybercrime, perhaps?).

And I'm trying to picture a combined British-French joint task force. It might be like trying to combine oil & water but at least they'll be well mannered and have fashionable uniforms.

Shrinky said...

Hang about, I can see this French/British thing really working - the French can fund the planes for us, and we get to use them most of the year when the French clock off on strike - perfect, n'cest pas?

As for this ruling to give prison inmates the vote - it's beyond depressing! I have a feeling this post of yours will sound anything from far fetched, a mere few years down the road. Just remember, you said it first!