Warning: Not all of this story is true. Also this is not intended to offend anyone - my God has a sense of humour!
My dearly beloved Groupies!
Today I want to tell you about what happened to me this morning!
There I was, ridin' down the road like I usually do, when I noticed that a woman in a car was right behind me. I mean RIGHT BEHIND ME!
Then, as we went into a narrow bend, with cars a-comin' the other way, the car that was RIGHT BEHIND ME started to over take me!
Now, I knew that there wasn't room on that bend for me, the car that was now RIGHT NEXT TO ME and the cars that were a-comin' the other way, so I pulled over and stopped.
And I looked up to The Lord and I said to him:
"Please Lord, Smite this stupid bitch down!"
But The Lord in his wisdom spake to me, saying:
"Do not show anger to this poor person! Show her kindness and compassion so that she will take this forward and become a better person. Besides, I don't do Smiting any more, in case you hadn't noticed."
So, taking The Lord's advice, I smiled at the woman in the car, gave her a "thumbs up" and shouted:
"Good morning! Nice driving!"
And did my happy, friendly gesture make her happy?
Did it hell! A weaker man would have been struck dead by her glare!
So I looked up to The Lord again and said:
"Did you see that?"
And The Lord spake again:
"Ah screw it!"
And that is why the Police are currently trying to work out how a perfectly good car could suddenly explode in the middle of the city.
Take heed - Smiting is back on the menu!