Friday 27 February 2009

Want to be a movie star?

No, not THAT sort of movie star! Some people...

I want to make an action movie. It will be the action movie to end all action movies. Heroes will be the greatest heroes ever, villains will be the worst, nastiest (but somehow also the most classy) villains ever, explosions will be huge, shootouts massive and deadly, car-chases the fastest, most exciting ever made.

The hero will be rough and tough, the sort of guy that other guys want to drink with and otherwise sensible girls will happily sacrifice anything for just one night with him.

He will have a beautiful female side-kick, who is his friend but is also the only female alive who is oblivious to his charms.

The hero will have a computer whizz who coordinates everything from a remote control centre, usually only present as a voice, a pair of hands and a silhouette against a PC monitor.

The villain will be impeccably dressed at all times, an utter genius and likable in a bad-guy sort of way. His plans for world domination will be complex and minutely timetabled, yet will have holes that a 5 year old will spot 3 minutes into the movie.

He will have a beautiful female side-kick who is devoted to his every wish, but will, at the end, be unable to resist the hero and change sides, causing the villain's downfall.

The villain will employ all sorts of scum to do his dirty work. These will appear to be highly trained professional killers, but they will not be able to withstand the hero and his side-kick for long. They will also be terrible drivers...

I also want to include a few specific civilian characters.

The first will be someone (preferably female) who turns into a sort of Die Hard character, hiding out watching a hostage situation, telling the hero what is going on via cell phone. At some point a villain will corner her but she will deal with him in a wonderfully gruesome manner,probably involving stilettoes and soft body parts.

Another will be a mother who is taking her children out for the day. She has repeat encounters with the villains thugs - cut up on the road, bumped into in the street, etc. Her mood deteriorates with each encounter until, near the end of the movie she gets caught up in the car chase and totally loses it, pulling the pump action shot gun out from under her seat and blasting everything that gets close to her and her children.

So, who wants to be in my movie, and which part do you want? :-)

23 comments:

Ali said...

I want to be in it and I want every part!!!!! Eeee! Exciting!

But really, when I narrow it down...I think I'd like to be either the Side-Kick to the Hero, or the one who turns all Die Hard-esque. Either way, I want to kick ass :)

And I know this is your movie, but do the two main people really have to be guys? I could totally stand to be the hero OR the villain... ;)

Rock Chef said...

To be honest, although the hero and villain seem to be the main characters, I actually think the best parts are the women.

I think it reflects my view that while men like to FEEL important (especially in Action Movies), it is really the women who ARE important.

Ali said...

Good answer!!! Then I'm totally in for the Side-kick to the Hero :)

Do I have to audition or something?

Rock Chef said...

When I get the backing I will call you for a screen test!

terri said...

You could so write a screenplay! I want in! Can I be the Die Hard woman character????

Um Naief said...

i want to have a role....

sorta sounds james bond'y and i love the females in those movies... so maybe someone that's a spy would suit me... unless i get killed off, then nevermind! ;)

mentioning james bond, just watched the new movie (downloaded) and loved it... altho it ended strangely, i thought. have you seen it? do you like the new bond, btw?? i'm crazy about him.

soo... when do you start the new movie??? what do the kids thing?

Um Naief said...

**think**, i meant. :)

Princess of the Universe said...

I'm cool being the oblivious hero side-kick. It doesn't sound like she has to get too messy.
xo

Alyssa said...

Yay! Love the movie - a blockbuster and people's choice award winner, for sure!

Of course, you'll need my talents to make it a true success. I'd like to audition for the part of villian's beautiful, devoted side- kick. She seems a tragic sucker for love - perfect!

Michele said...

I love the idea, and the part I'd work great in is the mother with the kids! I think she is the comic relief. AND, I am not a "Bond-Lovely", and I accept that. I do, on the other hand, look very "motherly". I also know how to handle a gun...LOL
So, do I have to learn a British accent?
Let me know when the auditions are, I'll have to ask for the time off!

mr zig said...

Awesome Idea! I'd like to be the Villain! That's my part for sure~! :) woooo for villainy!!!!!

James said...

All the best parts have gone I guess I'll just have to be scum

Jen said...

I want to be the quiet one. Please?

Rock Chef said...

Terri - Yeah, you would be great for that part!

Um Naief - How about Whitehouse security? Not a real Bond fan, not sure why - just doesn't really do it for me. The kids think it is funny.

Princess - Sounds good - I think her role is mainly one of keeping the hero focused on the task in hand and covering his back. Obviously there will be times when she gets to use some serious hardward, but nothing to spoil the look :-)

Alyssa - Yep, you've got the part!

Michele - I think you are perfect for the part - when this woman finally cracks she has to look like she can strip down the gun in 5 seconds flat!

Zig - I was sort of intending you to be the villain. Turns out that Alyssa will be your side-kick!

James - Well we still don't have a HERO!

Jen - A quiet role? You could be cruising the Chesapeake Bay in a massive yacht. That would be quiet for MOST of the movie...

Sid said...

Erm I want to be the hot side-kick who is oblivious to his charm. I mean I was made for the part!!!

Rock Chef said...

Sid - Now we have got 2 people wanting that part! I can see that the movie business requires some tough choices!

mr zig said...

sweet! so when does filming start?

Rock Chef said...

Zig - well I have to finish writing it, then I need to get some funds...

Jen said...

But I forgot to mention that I want to kick a**. . . I'm stealth at being pro ninja.

Kiki said...

I'd like to do the wardrobe for it...I'll dress everyone....

Rock Chef said...

Kiki - Oh yeah! I'd have to give you a small part too...

Anonymous said...

i want to be the computer geek. sounds like that part doesn't require hair and makeup. i could probably even do it in my jammies.

Rock Chef said...

nona - Interesting concept! I like it!