Does that line ever gets used outside the UK,or is it just one of those things that is purely British?
It has reached the point of being a joke in our house.
If you haven't met it yet, this is how it works.
The person starts off by saying
"No offense"
meaning that they do not expect you to be insulted by what they are about to say.
They then proceed to say something REALLY offensive, such as
"you are looking really fat these days"
or
"your house is really crappy compared with mine"
or
"your kids are damn ugly"
but because they have started off by saying "No offense", that is all OK. You are not supposed to be rude back/slam their face into a wall/burn down their superior house/point out that their kids are actually evil little shits, regardless of how angelic they might look.
So, watch out for it if it has not already arrived in your neighbourhoood! Hey, maybe you can be the first one to use it! Maybe not a good idea if you live in a place that allows fire arms?
10 comments:
We say it a lot around here, but never paid attention to how funny or wrong it really is! :) I'll probably be using it more often now. lol
ShadowRun300 - so long as you are aware... :-)
United States too. I hate it when I hear, "To be honest with you..."
"Don't take this personally" is always a tip off you're about to be blasted regarding something VERY personal.
"It could be worse" is the kiss of death as if it's NOT bad enough for the person saying it to give you credit for surviving.
"Can I ask you something?" Is usually followed by me saying "No".
My favorite is "Do you MIND if I ask you something" Which is ALWAYS followed by me saying "Not if you don't mind it when I don't answer."
People use that here in exactly the same way: "No offense, but I fucking hate you."
OK, no one's that honest. But you get the point.
Another one of my favorites: "I'm not trying to be rude, but... (insert rude statement here.)"
wReggie - Yes, that usually leads to a real humdinger!
Lotta Joy - Hm, looks like I opened the flood gates there! More excellent examples!
Terri - Yes, I am getting the feeling that Lotta Joy is not someone to mess with :-)
Riot Kitty - Yes, that is another wonderful one!
I hear that a lot down here but usually ignore the idiot giving that advice.
Of course down here in the south, an old favorite of mine is "Bless Your Heart". That is a general pass that can be used to excuse you from insulting anyone as long as you say it at the end of your statement with a smile.
"That's a dumb idea, bless your heart"
"He's dumber that a box of rocks, bless his heart"
"She uglier than a mud fence, bless her heart"
Agg79 - We use that phrase, but not in that way - it still seems to be sincere over here!
"No offense but" really translates to, "listen up, I'm about to really offend you".
And Agg's BYH biz, oy...
One time I answered the phone to a telemarketer who said, "Can you hear me all right?"
I answered, "No, I can't hear a word you're saying" (wtf?)
Abby - Don't get me started on telemarketers!
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