Wednesday, 24 October 2012

No offense, but....

Does that line ever gets used outside the UK,or is it just one of those things that is purely British?

It has reached the point of being a joke in our house.

If you haven't met it yet, this is how it works.

The person starts off by saying

"No offense"

meaning that they do not expect you to be insulted by what they are about to say.

They then proceed to say something REALLY offensive, such as

"you are looking really fat these days"


"your house is really crappy compared with mine"


"your kids are damn ugly"

but because they have started off by saying "No offense", that is all OK.  You are not supposed to be rude back/slam their face into a wall/burn down their superior house/point out that their kids are actually evil little shits, regardless of how angelic they might look.

So, watch out for it if it has not already arrived in your neighbourhoood!  Hey, maybe you can be the first one to use it!  Maybe not a good idea if you live in a place that allows fire arms?


ShadowRun300 said...

We say it a lot around here, but never paid attention to how funny or wrong it really is! :) I'll probably be using it more often now. lol

Rock Chef said...

ShadowRun300 - so long as you are aware... :-)

wReggie said...

United States too. I hate it when I hear, "To be honest with you..."

lotta joy said...

"Don't take this personally" is always a tip off you're about to be blasted regarding something VERY personal.

"It could be worse" is the kiss of death as if it's NOT bad enough for the person saying it to give you credit for surviving.

"Can I ask you something?" Is usually followed by me saying "No".

My favorite is "Do you MIND if I ask you something" Which is ALWAYS followed by me saying "Not if you don't mind it when I don't answer."

terri said...

Maybe any statement that is begun with "No offense, but..." should be responded to with, "No offense, but you're an idiot."

It's very common here. I think those who use it simply think it gives them license to say any damn thing they please.

I like Lotta Joy's way of dealing with this sort of thing!

Riot Kitty said...

People use that here in exactly the same way: "No offense, but I fucking hate you."

OK, no one's that honest. But you get the point.

Another one of my favorites: "I'm not trying to be rude, but... (insert rude statement here.)"

Rock Chef said...

wReggie - Yes, that usually leads to a real humdinger!

Lotta Joy - Hm, looks like I opened the flood gates there! More excellent examples!

Terri - Yes, I am getting the feeling that Lotta Joy is not someone to mess with :-)

Riot Kitty - Yes, that is another wonderful one!

agg79 said...

I hear that a lot down here but usually ignore the idiot giving that advice.

Of course down here in the south, an old favorite of mine is "Bless Your Heart". That is a general pass that can be used to excuse you from insulting anyone as long as you say it at the end of your statement with a smile.

"That's a dumb idea, bless your heart"
"He's dumber that a box of rocks, bless his heart"
"She uglier than a mud fence, bless her heart"

Rock Chef said...

Agg79 - We use that phrase, but not in that way - it still seems to be sincere over here!

Abby said...

"No offense but" really translates to, "listen up, I'm about to really offend you".

And Agg's BYH biz, oy...

One time I answered the phone to a telemarketer who said, "Can you hear me all right?"
I answered, "No, I can't hear a word you're saying" (wtf?)

Rock Chef said...

Abby - Don't get me started on telemarketers!