'Tis the season

Well no matter how hard I try to stop it, Christmas is coming.

Mrs RC seems to have put her finger on the problem this year.  Events in the family have robbed us of this year - we have spent the entire time gritting our teeth and trying to get from one day to the next without really experiencing the year properly.  Christmas is not due yet, as far as our body clocks are concerned!

Anyway, I got home on Friday to find that the tree was up.

I spent part of Saturday doing the Pooh Bear grotto in the front porch - it is nearly finished.  Just a few more lights and to finish reconstructing a Christmas sleigh that my eldest made many years ago.  I savaged the reindeer and made a new sleigh that will hold Eeyore-Santa.  She would have liked that.

Had a real pain with bike tyre inner tubes over the weekend:

• Got puncture on Friday evening.
• Saturday morning I put in my spare but it immediately got punctured by a small piece of grit stuck through the tyre which I had missed.
• Went to buy some more inner tubes.
• Opened the box and thought "Hey, these look small!"
• Went back to the shop to buy the right size.  Of course, the girl on the til made this into a major drama, refunding me £14.99, making me sign for it etc, and then selling me the right ones for £14.99...  The people in the queue behind me were thrilled...

The cold sometimes affects my insides.

While doing some shopping on Saturday my stomach started to gurgle and clench.  I headed for the toilets.

Arriving just in time, I sat there for a couple of minutes checking that there wasn't going to be a sequel. I heard the outer door open.

"Oh, sweet Jesus!"

The door closed again.

I sniffed.

"UGH!"

Sirens.

Oh, not another heart attack in the cake aisle, surely...

I headed out to see the last of the staff and customers leaving the building - beyond I could see a guy in a full body suit - bomb disposal?  Chemical and biological?  Looked serious anyway!

I decided it was a good idea to get the hell out, anyway.  As I stepped outside there was a shout.

"Hey, you with the beard!  Hands up!"

"What?"

"DO IT!"

I did it.

As I was surrounded by armed Police, the guy in the suit walked into the building.

After a few minutes he returned, removing his helmet.

"I can't find the source, but the readings are off the chart!"

"Hm, maybe our 'friend' here can help explain things?"

After 2 hours, and a long awaited sequel at the Police Station, they believed me....



PS, some of this might be slightly exaggerated.