Friday, 15 February 2008

Man-speak

This is intended as a small add-on to complement Terri's fantastic post about Woman-speak, where she explains the intricacies of how women communicate with their partners.

For those women who may not fully understand what a man means when he says something, here are a few examples of "Man-speak".


Do you want me to pick anything up from the shops on my way home? I want sex tonight.

It is OK, I will cook tonight, you go and put your feet up. I want sex tonight, so save some energy.

Of course it is OK if you go out tonight, I can look after the kids! I want sex tonight, and if you go out for a few drinks...

Is it OK if I wash this with the whites? I REALLY want sex tonight so I am impressing you with what a really great husband I am.

I think we ran out of polish when I was dusting earlier. I need it so bad it hurts!

I thought I would do that (insert DIY job you have been asking him to do for the last 2 years) today. If I don't get it tonight I think my b%$£s will explode.


So, ladies, I hope that clears up the grey areas of male conversation for you. Perhaps your weekend will be a little better as a result of this new information. Please let me know!

7 comments:

Terri said...

This is FANTASTIC! I am laughing out loud at my desk! At least it shows that men have a limited number of needs and now we women know we can pretty successfully interpret anything men say.

Ali said...

Um...hehe...that's usually ME talking. I tend to be more, um - how to put this delicately? - INCLINED I guess - to want sex than most women.

The husband knows this though, so is not suprised when I say "Ugh, this place is a disaster area!" and then expect sex.

:)

stupidtom said...

AWESOME!!! I get desperate enough to just flat out ask.

great post.

Kiki said...

I think I am with Ali on this...I am inclined to be available if Ken is interested...so if we have some free time, well, we know how to use our time wisely!!! Heehee!

Rock Chef said...

Terri - Glad you enjoyed it.

Ali - Hm, tidy up or have rampant sex? Tough choice! :-)

Stupidtom - I stopped short of that as it needs little interpretation.

Kiki - I expected as much from our resident "Sprinter" ;-)

mindy said...

Hilarious - and so true.

Reggie said...

Yep, you broke the code. Looks accurate to me.